The Value of Caring at Work

Valentine's Day 2011

When I was young, Valentine’s Day used to mean cards tucked in mailboxes which asked, “Will you be mine”? In my teens, love notes were written during study hall complete with heart-shaped dotted “I’s and “I will love you forever”, words holding meaning beyond our comprehension.

When I think about Valentine messages today, I think about expressing sincere, caring that brings meaning to relationships and inspires a greater vision of what could be.

On this Valentine’s Day 2011, consider four leaders’ insights on the value of love and caring at work .

David Whyte, internationally known author of The Heart Aroused, inspires people with his poetry and brings his inspirational message to people in organizations throughout the world. He professes it's about loaves and fishes.

Loaves and Fishes
This is not the age of information.
This is not the age of information.
Forget the news,and the radio,and the blurred screen.
This is the time of loaves and fishes.
People are hungry and one good word is bread for a thousand.
David Whyte, The House of Belonging, Many Rivers Press,1996

As facilitator for Emotional Intelligence workshops and assessments, I became aware of people’s responses to the value of demonstrating empathy/caring and how it plays out in their work and life. Empathy can be “bread” to some because it is our ability to understand and appreciate others’ positions from their point of view.


Emotional Intelligence experts, Dr. Robert Cooper, author, Executive EQ and Daniel Goleman, Working with Emotional Intelligence share these ways to demonstrate empathy to others and yourself. When practiced, folks tell me the messages sound a lot like poetry to them!

When those critical inner voices take over, shift your perspective, act as if you are your best customer and ask if would you be as hard on them?

Honor others’ input. Pause three to five seconds after someone speaks before you begin responding. Give their voice the space it deserves and reflect on what's been said.

Realize people need to feel validated, understood, appreciated and safe. To get beyond what might seem like a rough exterior in protection to not having those needs met, pause and ask, “What would I be feeling if I were in this person’s place”?

Let people know you’re “with them”. Become an empathetic listener. Ask...
Let me say back what I hear you saying.....
Are you saying that....
I'm not sure I fully get what you’re saying, but is
is it like.......?
Is the main point that ......?

James Autry, author of Love and Profit: The Art of Caring Leadership compares people’s need to feel connected with each other and with the human condition as threads that weave throughout workplaces in his poem, Threads.

Threads
Sometimes you just connect,
like that,
no big thing maybe
but something beyond the usual business stuff
It comes and goes quickly
so you have to pay attention,
a change in the eyes
when you ask about the family,
a pain flickering behind the statistics
about a boy and a girl in school,
or about seeing them, every other Sunday.
An older guy talks about his bride,
a little affectation after twenty-five years.
A hot-eyed achiever laughs before you want him to.
Someone tells about his wife's job
or why she quit working to stay home.
An old joker needs another laugh on the way
to retirement.
A woman says she spends a lot of her salary
on an au pair
and a good one is hard to find
but worth it because there's nothing more important
than the baby.
Listen.
In every office you hear the threads
of love and joy and fear and guilt,
the cries for celebration and reassurance,
and somehow you know that connecting those threads
is what you are supposed to do
and business takes care of itself.
James A. Autry. Love and Profit: The Art of Caring Leadership: Avon Books Inc, August 1991

Constant change and its challenges is a common thread in all of our lives. Bob Moawad, President of Edge Learning Institute and author of Whatever it Takes shares the care of ourselves is important to our worth and resiliency. He suggests we...

Be a “good finder” versus a “fault finder”.
Catch others doing something right.
Not waste precious time on guilt over the past or
worry about the future
Remember we move toward and become like the
image we hold uppermost in our minds.

Play it Forward
http://www.centerforinnerquality.com/center_for_inner_quality_products.html

Tight Budgets Don't Have to Mean Tight Minds

Natural cycles occur in nature---expansion followed by contraction; contraction followed by expansion. In both cycles we may experience a bit of amnesia. In expansion, we act as if things indefinitely will remain good. In times of contraction, we have a tendency to reduce life and possibilities to a postage stamp.

Success in 2011 may well depend upon employing lessons from both cycles. In a year of “fiscal responsibility” we will hear a lot of “what we need to do without”. I propose that what we need to guard against is tightening our minds and attitudes. Here’s why— we may very well slam doors shut that can lead to innovation, trust and motivation. What to do? Consider the following 5 things…

1. Expand ways to positively challenge yours’ and others’ potential. For certain people are challenged with “busy” and “a lot to do” but that doesn’t mean their minds and hearts are stimulated. Find something of interest to stretch knowledge, talent and skills.

What’s in it for you? Energy and momentum spill over which can be applied to the less attractive tasks. For instance, one customer’s team wanted to know more about the “business” side of administration. A team leader easily shared their expertise. Competency and career advancement was strengthened in the person who shared and ones who received.

Many clients find that learning coaching skils or offering coaching services to emerging leaders or key employees is one way to maximize talent, improve morale and retain good people.

2. Contract attitudinal extremes Avoid being a Negative Nate or Susie Sunshine. Things are not all good or all bad. Distinguish valid concerns that while uncomfortable need solution from immediately thwarting dialogue and flipping issues to --Now let’s not get negative--let’s be “sunny side up”!

3. Expand connection. In tight times, it’s easy to shrink our connection with others. Fact is we are fortified with informational, emotional, physical and spiritual support. Creating spaces to talk it out, arranging fun activities that involve staff and customers, holding a pot luck lunch day contribute to feeling part of something, elevating spirits and nurturing relationships that pave the way for more trust.

4. Contract shooting ourselves in the foot. Frustration and apathy abound when we continue to make the same choices by not allowing a “time out” to look at the big picture. Frequently too much time is spent attending to “urgent” and not enough time contemplating what’s important—planning, goal setting and reflecting. In our need to “do something--anything” we pile changes upon changes because we didn’t allow enough time for initial changes to work and we end up roller coaster changes and “Coulda had a V8” regrets.

5. Expand a formal process for encouraging and capturing ideas. Contributing new solutions jazzes people, ignites innovation and lifts energy. Consider involving customers, businesses and community to expand the pool of ideas. Different perspectives add dimension to possibilities and inspire a “we’re not the only ones facing this stuff” attitude and “we can work this out” solutions. Note the difference...

Every quarter one of my customers invites and accepts innovative idea proposals from staff on how to improve performance and systems. Proposers are given discretionary time to plan, execute and test their ideas over predetermined period of time. The company acknowledges contributors’ report of their story and concrete outcomes at Quarter’s end with pop, pizza and presentation. Thousands of dollars are saved as a result of these ideas.

Given a similar task, a medical center supervisor took a shoe box, cut a hole in the top of it for submissions and labeled it “Opinions”.

Tight budgets don’t have to mean tight minds---or hearts for that matter!