In Between: Lessons in Transition

In between my last blog and this one, a family member's numerous medical conditions worsened, she entered hospice, and on May lst she made her transition and we celebrated her life the following weekend. Her passage and our family's adaptation and adjustment offered renewed and deepened insights into managing transitions.
1. There is only one way out---through it.
I read that phrase many years ago from a source I no longer recall. Business tasks beckoned, people were waiting return phone calls and deadlines needed to be met, but there was no hurrying time. Time moved in slow motion. A task that might have taken a hour, took four. Mental space outs over populated my day.
Transition, the psychological and spiritual adaptation to change, offers a slowing down to assilmilate and move through all the in between steps from resistance to acceptance and ultimately to adaptation. Avoid fighting it. Surrender and discover.
2. It rarely looks like we think it will.
One day she said, "You know you think about your 'demise' your whole life and when it gets here, you think, I don't know about all this." I wonder if our transitions in work or in our personal lives are very individual and while stages are predictable, when we're in the middle of them, rarely do they look like we thought.
Having patience and compassion with your family's, friend's, team mate's and your own pace is needed. Rarely does the change look like what you imagined and rarely are you fully prepared.
2. Spiritual Ahas show up in many ways.
Jim I'll call him, a family friend, had a "spiritual" experience when his mother transitioned. She had not been lucid, but right before passing opened her eyes fully present and looked around at everyone and then passed away.
A family friend upon witnessing our family member's passing related, "It wasn't the spiritual experience others tell you about. My only insight was there was nothing to do. Nothing. Nothing. I can't explain all that I mean, but there was nothing to do."
I wonder if he did indeed experience something spiritual. Understanding that we are not really in control is a huge awareness for those of us, including myself, who cope by "doing", making things happen and fixing things. Whether the transition is a personal one or those of lay offs, new procedures or process changes, often we can do nothing to change the way things are. Resistance is a choice, but resistance won't change the reality. Our only control is conscious choice of our attitude about it.
Insights, holographic awarenesses, often defy explanation, but "in the moment" we "get" it because we are ready to be mindful to it. In transitions we take the time to notice the in between layers, pray to make sense of it all and in exchange our awareness is often heightened to deeper truths.
Remain open and present-- Expect AHAS to show up in unexpected ways. They are life's "Gift Exchange"!
3. Sunshine and fresh air renew the spirit.
Near the end, my family member wanted to get out of her single room in hospice. Tucked in a a wheel chair with tubes and chords, she was able to go outside. Fresh air and the sunshine of a spring-into-summer day warmed, soothed her and uplifted her spirits.
Do not confuse simplicity with lack of significance. Basics usually work.
4. It's only extra.
Some time ago pieces of furniture and clothes had been moved from our family member's home into an independent living facility. Before her transition, we asked what was to be done with the furniture. She said, "It doesn't matter, it's only extra."
Transitioning has a way of reminding us to lighten our load which can mean our opionions, prejudices, ideas, grudges as well as our material possessions. Travel can be faster and less stressful if we have less stuff!
5. Before you make peace, sometimes you must face war.
Often there is unfinished business in relationships between family, friends and team members. We struggle to reach out and make amends. Frequently courage is needed to face the "war within", the conflict within us, around us and between us before we have a chance at making peace.
6. Facing "life" is also facing "death".
I am the oldest of four siblings. My family member's passing awakened the knowledge of my body's immortality and I became aware of the passing of my own life. Not falling asleep on the preciousness of what can be done with the gifts of time and talent is essential to moving off procrastination's "dead" center and acting on projects put "on hold" for "someday".
R E P L E N I S H
When our focus is our "to do" list, we lose sight of the wholeness of life and meaning gets put aside in the doing. Facing transitions in work and in life stimulates a larger 36,000 foot view which helps us integrate and make the most of life's 'In between" times". Perhaps that's why people say it is not the big things that become important, but the small moments that bring joy!
In between here to there on your way to the next step in your life and career, celebrate the small stuff as you go!

Step Up to Move Forward

Did you know that if you work too long on tasks the time it takes to solve problems can increase as much as 500%. Sources: Donald Norfolk, M.D., (U.K.) Executive Stress, and Etienne Grandjean, M.D., Swiss Polytechnic Institute.
That's pretty amazing!

We can prove that to ourselves when we've been working with piece of paper, put it down to answer the phone and afterward the call, are unable to find it. We're sure a leprechaun snatched it up. We throw up your hands and get a drink of water. Upon return, poof! The paper is there and we're darn sure that if it could laugh, it is laughing at us!

What is also amazing is that we often stand in the way of our own good to quote my friend Linda Mihalic. The same perseverance that pushes us to achieve is the same quality that overused does us in. The result--"The Zone" and I'm not speaking about the diet. We zone. We shut down, turn off and the light within us gets dim. We shuffle papers, re-read a paragraph for the sixth time and still don't comprehend it. We know we should call a client but frankly we just don't feel up to it.

I experience"The Zone". My friends and colleagues tell me they do and I'll bet you have once or twice as well. Research tells us 10%-15% of time is wasted in organizations due to mental space outs! (E. Granjean, M. Moore-Ede, et alI) I guess A LOT of people do!

So why do we not take the "time in" ? I think we convince ourselves we cannot "afford" the time. Our lives are taking shape "out there" we think. Shouldn't we be there with it? We imagine if we're not "doing" something, we're doing nothing at all.

Fact is, our lives really begin to take shape "in here" within the quiet well within us and "up there" in Universal Realms above us. Do we know this? Yes. Do we give ourselves permission ENOUGH to surrender to this wisdom--to take a step up to move forward? Not often enough.

Illumination * Intuition * Inspiration need "active listening"--that is participating and being in rapport with that which can birth it and nourish it. How do we do that? Dr. Edna Lister, internal lecturer and teacher, offers two ways.

Adopt the language of "Letting" to unleash the "creative spark" and calm within us.

When you feel yourself tightening up, surrender to a quiet moment. Become mind-full. Some folks in my programs have found this exercise helpful in experiencing the concept of "letting". Tighten your hands into fists and then simply unfold them into open palm positions. Do this with an attitude of "letting". Repeat several times until you experience tension unwinding. "Let" signals openness, receptivity and trust in Universal Flow.

Add a positive dialogue with the Universe and yourself in your mind or out loud. "Let" this thing I'm worried about work out as it needs to. "Let" my anxiety dissipate. "Let" me get out of my way to make way for wisdom greater than mine. Let, let, let! After you've experienced this unfolding accompanied by "LET", you can visualize the words and the actions when completing the exercise is not appropriate. Just two minutes of quiet every half an hour will do amazing things to recover energy and focus.

You can strength your ability to access inspiration and intuition through Dr. Lister's technique "The Silence". Sit with your spine straight, but not stiff. Raise your arms above your waist until your palms are ear height. Turn your palms inward toward yourself. This stimulates your heart, throat and crown energy centers and forms an inverted "V", cup-like. Breathe in from the crown down and let your cup be filled with light. "Let"-- receive and align.

Five minutes a day can do much to quiet the noise and stop the static so you can see the pattern and connections inherent in the input we receive daily. This allows synthesization which sharpens decision making, creativity, thinking on your feet and inner quality.

R e p l e n i s h

Step back, go up and become an active listener with the Universe and your inner well then move forward recharged and realigned.